I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i just made my gag reflex go away.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
