when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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