There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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