I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
