Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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