Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
