Me too!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
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Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
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What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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