I'm pants shitting drunk right now
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize