Non-Jews are for practice
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
