Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
