How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
