How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
