I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm just crazy horny about you
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
