I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize