i think my tv is drunk
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
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Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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