My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
