hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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