He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
