i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
