miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
