Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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