U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
