we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
