Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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