I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
