just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
