went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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