she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
