I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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