it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
