now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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