The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
