He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
