just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
