How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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