Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
