I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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