Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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