Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
