Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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