I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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