He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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