Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
