therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
