He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
sex in a hospital.. check
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
