She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
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It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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