i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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