so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
