I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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