I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
