Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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