Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
