the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
