whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I met the friendliest cop last night
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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