This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
