i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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