Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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