no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
even my farts smell like vagina
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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