you have to choose: penises or morals?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
