This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
